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What the ... ? I don't know where I come up with this shit. I ought never to drink.

Yes, I'm glad I never had kids too. We can at least agree on something. Purple prophylactics? Depends on the flavor I guess. Honey? Are you available...

No but I don't have anymore is my point.

I just drank my last drop of liquor. I suppose if I died right now it would be true.

His boy Elroy? No. Daughter Judy? Doesn't ring a bell. Jane his wife? Chopticks? Yeah I'm not sure what's up with that. Is that supposed to indicate...

Have I personally met Shelley Fabares? No. Why do you ask? Theodore Cleaver? Again, no. What are you getting at? George Jetson? Yeah, I'm pretty sure...

Hell no I ain't ever used a straight razor, how the hell old do you think I am. Yes I know there was supposed to be a question mark there. See how...

Can't we talk about nuns or something? Alright we'll throw in priests too if it pickles your fancy.

Sorry for the delay, I was just looking at some of Miriam Beerman's work. The only thing I can say is ouch. Ouch.

Boy, I really hate to say this, but y'all are going to die, and the older you get, the closer you'll be. Yeah I know it sucks. Is there a Blarney...

Just kidding. I'd probably have a fucking heart attack after the third shovelful.

Feelin' me yet or do I have to dig deeper. I may have COPD but I will shovel the shit out of dirt if I have to.

So tell me, how's the wife and kids? Dead you say? Just my luck. I knew it was a bad idea for the crew to get high at lunch but they just would not...

Can I skip rope and chew gum at the same time? You bet. I am multi-talented.

Yeah, I been around the block a few times. I seen my share of culverts. I got me a few subway tokens as well. I'm not sure how much cooler one can...

American? Yes, I'm an American. When the hell are they going to invent a snowshoe that melts all the snow under the shoe instantly upon contact? I...

Wow. I can't believe they named an element after some dead guy.

Look into the swinging watch fob. You are getting older, I mean sleepy, very sleepy ...

I actually know quite a few of the periodic table's elements... I just finished a book on them and found that I could recall the majority of them by...

Boy, the internet sure is fun. Thank you, Zap. I don't know of another person that would put up with such shit.

I'm sure one may have guessed that I have drunk a fuckload of liquor at this time. More power to ya. And yes, you will be listed as a clairvoyant on...

Look, we are just trying to have a little fun here, please bear with us. I have a copy of my high school graduation document if necessary.

If you guessed fishing trip then you may proceed to the next square.

Alright alright, your mother can come but she must bring her own life preserver.

I feel quite sure that I'll and I don't remember the rest, but I am quite sure it was pretty funny.