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13-08-2009, 01:20 PM
Star War Top Ten Lists
Ten Reasons Anakin Skywalker Went To The Dark Side
Ten Scenes Cut From Original Star Wars Trilogy
Ten Fun Things To Do On Tatooine
Ten Rejected Star Wars Novels
Ten Ways All Movies Would Be Better If Patterned After Star Wars
Ten Surprises George Lucas Has Planned For New Star Wars Trilogy
Ten Packaged Foods In Star Wars Universe
Ten Crappy Imperial Jobs
Ten Crappy Rebel Jobs
Ten Signs President Clinton Is A Big Star Wars Fan
Ten Moments Emporer Palpatine Wishes He Had Been There For
Ten Changes That New F/X Technology Will Allow Lucas To Make In "Star Wars" Rerelease
Ten Action Figures Least Likely To Be A Part of New Kenner Toy Line
Ten Surprises in Star Wars: Episode One
Ten Ways Micheal Jackson Would Be Cooler If He Lived In The Star Wars Universe
TEN THINGS REASONS ANAKIN SKYWALKER WENT TO THE DARK SIDE
10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan
9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge Over the River Kwai"
8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name
7. To impress the babes
6. Kicked in head by bantha
5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict
4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave
3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock
2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire
1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones
TEN SCENES CUT FROM ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY
10. Controversial Chewbacca/C3PO romance
9. R2D2's breakdancing scene on Hoth
8. Seventeen-second belch issued by Admiral Ackbar during crucial briefing before Battle of Endor
7. Entire subplot dealing with Jabba's marital problems
6. Dirty word being spray-painted on wall of Imperial shield generator by adolescent Ewoks
5. Marlon Brando's uncredited cameo as Bail Organa
4. Rejected ending for first movie in which all main characters die in Death Star garbage compactor
3. Glowin' Greedo
2. Six minutes of dialogue during which Mon Mothma had a booger on her lapel
1. Product placement by Cream of Wheat
TEN FUN THINGS TO DO ON TATOOINE
10. Bantha races
9. Racing landspeeders to the Dairy Queen and back
8. Oil baths (droids only)
7. Taunting Jawas
6. Find-the-charred-remains-of-your-foster-parents
5. Sweatin' to the Oldies...and, for that matter, to the current hits, too
4. Checking out the wretched hives of scum and villainy in Mos Eisley
3. Bulls-eyeing whomp-rats in your T-16
2. Fishing for Boba Fett's helmet in the Sarlacc pit
1. Pin-the-tail-on-Glowin'-Ben!
TEN REJECTED STAR WARS NOVELS
10. Luke opens a ranch devoted to the fine art of motion picture effects, names it after himself
9. "The Courtship of Darth Vader"
8. The adventures of Han Solo's accountant brother Seymore
7. "The Complete Wookie Dictionary"
6. "Boba Fett: The Wacky Teen Years"
5. An entire book devoted to all the options Anakin Skywalker went through when designing scary Darth Vader costume
4. "Luke Who's Talking!!"
3. A three-volume set documenting the first official crossover with the beloved "Willow" universe
2. "Biggs Darklighter: The Man and His Music"
1. "The Big Pop-Up Book of Rancors"
TEN WAYS ALL MOVIES WOULD BE BETTER IF PATTERNED AFTER STAR WARS
10. First James Bond movie would have been Grand Moff No
9. Police Academy movies retitled Jedi Academy
8. Due to union rules, a Wookie would have to be standing in the background of all outdoor scenes
7. During Hollywood premieres, midget actors in Ewok costumes would skip up and down the aisles, handing out Raisinets and malted milk balls
6. Van Damme would be eated by a giant space slug
5. Imagine the drama, when, at the end of Gone With The Wind, Scarlett and Rhett discover they are actually brother and sister!
4. Star Trek II would have featured exciting lines like: "Kiiiiiiiirk! I am your father!"
3. During entire eight years of his presidency, Reagan would have worn bright orange X-Wing pilot's outfit and helmet
2. In first Batman film, Jack Nicholson would have delivered best Joker lines in fluent Huttese
1. Lethal Weapon films would have starred Mel Gibson and Billy Dee Williams
TEN SURPRISES GEORGE LUCAS HAS PLANNED FOR NEW STAR WARS TRILOGY
10. Luke and Leia named after their mother's favorite talk-show hosts
9. When first hatched, baby Rancors look almost exactly like Barney
8. Let's just say that Anakin Skywalker was no great looker even before he fell in the lava pit
7. Luke and Leia's mother to by played by Shannen Dogherty
6. By federal law, new theme music must be composed by Danny Elfman
5. Clone Wars erupted after unethical scientist filled a tropical island with genetically engineered dinosaurs
4. Part of young Obi-Wan Kenobi to by played by Jim Carrey
3. We'll finally get to hear the lavish musical numbers cut from earlier films
2. If you look closely during the last five minutes of the second film, you can see brand-new Millenium Falcon being sold to Lando Calrissian's uncle
1. Many Bothans will die to bring us these films
Ten Reasons Anakin Skywalker Went To The Dark Side
Ten Scenes Cut From Original Star Wars Trilogy
Ten Fun Things To Do On Tatooine
Ten Rejected Star Wars Novels
Ten Ways All Movies Would Be Better If Patterned After Star Wars
Ten Surprises George Lucas Has Planned For New Star Wars Trilogy
Ten Packaged Foods In Star Wars Universe
Ten Crappy Imperial Jobs
Ten Crappy Rebel Jobs
Ten Signs President Clinton Is A Big Star Wars Fan
Ten Moments Emporer Palpatine Wishes He Had Been There For
Ten Changes That New F/X Technology Will Allow Lucas To Make In "Star Wars" Rerelease
Ten Action Figures Least Likely To Be A Part of New Kenner Toy Line
Ten Surprises in Star Wars: Episode One
Ten Ways Micheal Jackson Would Be Cooler If He Lived In The Star Wars Universe
TEN THINGS REASONS ANAKIN SKYWALKER WENT TO THE DARK SIDE
10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan
9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge Over the River Kwai"
8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name
7. To impress the babes
6. Kicked in head by bantha
5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict
4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave
3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock
2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire
1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones
TEN SCENES CUT FROM ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY
10. Controversial Chewbacca/C3PO romance
9. R2D2's breakdancing scene on Hoth
8. Seventeen-second belch issued by Admiral Ackbar during crucial briefing before Battle of Endor
7. Entire subplot dealing with Jabba's marital problems
6. Dirty word being spray-painted on wall of Imperial shield generator by adolescent Ewoks
5. Marlon Brando's uncredited cameo as Bail Organa
4. Rejected ending for first movie in which all main characters die in Death Star garbage compactor
3. Glowin' Greedo
2. Six minutes of dialogue during which Mon Mothma had a booger on her lapel
1. Product placement by Cream of Wheat
TEN FUN THINGS TO DO ON TATOOINE
10. Bantha races
9. Racing landspeeders to the Dairy Queen and back
8. Oil baths (droids only)
7. Taunting Jawas
6. Find-the-charred-remains-of-your-foster-parents
5. Sweatin' to the Oldies...and, for that matter, to the current hits, too
4. Checking out the wretched hives of scum and villainy in Mos Eisley
3. Bulls-eyeing whomp-rats in your T-16
2. Fishing for Boba Fett's helmet in the Sarlacc pit
1. Pin-the-tail-on-Glowin'-Ben!
TEN REJECTED STAR WARS NOVELS
10. Luke opens a ranch devoted to the fine art of motion picture effects, names it after himself
9. "The Courtship of Darth Vader"
8. The adventures of Han Solo's accountant brother Seymore
7. "The Complete Wookie Dictionary"
6. "Boba Fett: The Wacky Teen Years"
5. An entire book devoted to all the options Anakin Skywalker went through when designing scary Darth Vader costume
4. "Luke Who's Talking!!"
3. A three-volume set documenting the first official crossover with the beloved "Willow" universe
2. "Biggs Darklighter: The Man and His Music"
1. "The Big Pop-Up Book of Rancors"
TEN WAYS ALL MOVIES WOULD BE BETTER IF PATTERNED AFTER STAR WARS
10. First James Bond movie would have been Grand Moff No
9. Police Academy movies retitled Jedi Academy
8. Due to union rules, a Wookie would have to be standing in the background of all outdoor scenes
7. During Hollywood premieres, midget actors in Ewok costumes would skip up and down the aisles, handing out Raisinets and malted milk balls
6. Van Damme would be eated by a giant space slug
5. Imagine the drama, when, at the end of Gone With The Wind, Scarlett and Rhett discover they are actually brother and sister!
4. Star Trek II would have featured exciting lines like: "Kiiiiiiiirk! I am your father!"
3. During entire eight years of his presidency, Reagan would have worn bright orange X-Wing pilot's outfit and helmet
2. In first Batman film, Jack Nicholson would have delivered best Joker lines in fluent Huttese
1. Lethal Weapon films would have starred Mel Gibson and Billy Dee Williams
TEN SURPRISES GEORGE LUCAS HAS PLANNED FOR NEW STAR WARS TRILOGY
10. Luke and Leia named after their mother's favorite talk-show hosts
9. When first hatched, baby Rancors look almost exactly like Barney
8. Let's just say that Anakin Skywalker was no great looker even before he fell in the lava pit
7. Luke and Leia's mother to by played by Shannen Dogherty
6. By federal law, new theme music must be composed by Danny Elfman
5. Clone Wars erupted after unethical scientist filled a tropical island with genetically engineered dinosaurs
4. Part of young Obi-Wan Kenobi to by played by Jim Carrey
3. We'll finally get to hear the lavish musical numbers cut from earlier films
2. If you look closely during the last five minutes of the second film, you can see brand-new Millenium Falcon being sold to Lando Calrissian's uncle
1. Many Bothans will die to bring us these films