View Full Version : Rant about why imaginery lines are a pain in the ass....
julien_simon
29-09-2009, 05:46 AM
...and why you should never leave anything hanging in my mom's house.
Soooo, this story starts about 4 years ago. Well, the second part start way earlier with my mom "cleaning" the house. One example, my brother and I were playing basketball in the backyard one day. We went somewhere (can't remember where, not relevant anyway) and left the basketball on the hall, by all the shoes. My mom didn't like it there so she cleaned that room and put that basketball "somewhere". We never found it again.
Allow me to jump in time to 4 years ago, when I decided to try to do an internship in Canada to be closer to my girlfriend at that time. I have since done a few more internships, job etc...I have used every single kind of visas that allowed me to go to Canada (you can only use a visa once). Most of these visas require so much shit you can't even imagine how hard it is to put it all together. The last file I submitted for a visa was 46 pages long.
When we ran out of visa on the list, we got married (we also kinda loved each other) and I became a permanent resident.
You wonder where this is going? me too. well, not really because I'm the one writing the story.
Well, 2 weeks ago, I arrived in France to visit the family. Stayed at my parents house for a bit. I put all the important papers together in an envelop while traveling. I know my mother so I put that envelop on my bed night table right away. I made the mistake, while purchasing my plane ticket to Berlin, to bring that envelop down in the living room where my computer was for an afternoon because I needed my passport to finalize the purchase.
We had guest that night so my mom cleaned up the table.
We never found that envelop ever again.
I rushed on Monday morning to the Canadian Embassy to see if I could enter Canada with my PR card. "fuck you" they said politely.
I then took my plane monday afternoon to Berlin (Hi Krisma!) and rushed to the french consulate here.
They doubt they can get me an emergency passport in time. It all depends on how fast the french office give them the go ahead. My money is on 4 months.
I will most likely have to purchase another plane ticket, miss more work and get in trouble, and do some laundry because if I stay longer I will not have any more clean socks.
Why have this pain started in the beginning?
When greedy humans decided it would be a good idea to draw imaginary lines on a map and be a pain in the ass to millions of people who just want to be with their wives/husbands/family. Even travel!
fuck them all.
I plan on creating a potion that will make me invisible anyway.
julien_simon
29-09-2009, 05:46 AM
If a person is bored enough to reads this whole post, I will give him/her a prostate exam.
Strong
29-09-2009, 06:29 AM
Oh bugger! I read the first post in it's entirety before the second. That was a trick wasn't it Julien!?! Well you just take those damn gloves off right now and get that smirk off your face.
You and your wife should move to Europe. No border or work restrictions between European countries dude!
julien_simon
29-09-2009, 06:46 AM
Oh bugger! I read the first post in it's entirety before the second. That was a trick wasn't it Julien!?! Well you just take those damn gloves off right now and get that smirk off your face.
You and your wife should move to Europe. No border or work restrictions between European countries dude!
fine - I'll you the first one go.
whoever reads it seconds get the whole fist though.
The only problem with my wife moving to Europe is that...she is not allowed to work here yet.
yeah, bring on the visa problems and imaginary lines again.
Strong
29-09-2009, 06:50 AM
But as a French citizen doesn't she get an automatic right of entry and indeed permission to stay?
julien_simon
29-09-2009, 07:25 AM
But as a French citizen doesn't she get an automatic right of entry and indeed permission to stay?
getting married does not give the citizenship.
it's something you need to apply for and do lots of paperwork.
She still has 1 year left of school so we haven't done it yet but it is on the list of things to do.
Strong
29-09-2009, 09:02 AM
So are you thinking of living in France or Canada permanently?
Muddy
29-09-2009, 09:08 AM
So all this time I thought you had immigrated to Canada because you loved Canada, etc. when really the plan is for votre petit chou to move to France.
Wow! Missing passport. Not good. You can't really go anywhere then.
If you can get yourself a visa to Russia, you can swim across the Bering Strait and into Alaska. Then just drive across the border back into Canada. Your PR card should be enough for that. :sqerr:
Muddy
29-09-2009, 10:44 AM
Yeah, that's terrible. Your mom doesn't remember what she did with the envelope? Is she pretty sure she threw it out or could it be around there somewhere? This whole time I thought you were going to say you found your basketball...
Time for some dumpster diving!
Muddy
29-09-2009, 10:52 AM
Time for some dumpster diving!
Absolutely! Try to beat the pick up man.
julien_simon
29-09-2009, 01:52 PM
we already went through the garbage and emptied literally every single drawer in the house. We looked everywhere for a few hours each.
I believe the burmuda's triangle moved to my house. It's also called a mom.
She has no idea where she put it. She remembers cleaning the table but doesn't remember moving an envelop.
Strong
29-09-2009, 01:58 PM
Maybe your mum doesn't want you to go and have sex with that Canadian. Maybe she wants you to stay.
Did you look under the cupboards and behind the furniture? Get her to retrace her steps by enacting her cleaning with a new envelope where you left it. That might jog her memory.
Ferre
29-09-2009, 02:18 PM
^^ If that doesn't help,..try waterboarding. :armywink:
krisma5
29-09-2009, 03:21 PM
Wow, what a story!
My mom is an american citizen and is married to a german citizen, she has a unlimited work permission for working here so there is no time limit that she has. Should I ask her how and where she got it?
krisma5
29-09-2009, 03:23 PM
I then took my plane monday afternoon to Berlin (Hi Krisma!) and rushed to the french consulate here.
They doubt they can get me an emergency passport in time. It all depends on how fast the french office give them the go ahead. My money is on 4 months.
Nice to hear someone is now a little closer to me. :sqrolleyes:
Does that mean that they are going to keep you here for 4 months? :sqerr:
^^ If that doesn't help,..try waterboarding. :armywink:
LOL! :sqrofl:
Muddy
29-09-2009, 05:43 PM
^^ If that doesn't help,..try waterboarding. :armywink:
Don't know how I missed that one! Hilarious!
Strong
29-09-2009, 05:46 PM
You have to keep an eye on Ferre, he is very funny when he wants to be :sqbiggrin:
julien_simon
30-09-2009, 03:29 AM
Wow, what a story!
My mom is an american citizen and is married to a german citizen, she has a unlimited work permission for working here so there is no time limit that she has. Should I ask her how and where she got it?
If we got married even 5/6 years ago, she would have gotten the french citizenship automatically. Now, they make it harder.
France is overpopulated so I guess they look closer to who they let in, which isn't a bad idea overall but a pain in the ass.
julien_simon
30-09-2009, 03:45 AM
^^ If that doesn't help,..try waterboarding. :armywink:
that will surely make them give me my passport.
Strong
30-09-2009, 05:46 AM
OK so they are torturing the guy in the picture, but why does one of the interrogators have to pinch the guys nipples? That is just cruel!
julien_simon
30-09-2009, 05:52 AM
OK so they are torturing the guy in the picture, but why does one of the interrogators have to pinch the guys nipples? That is just cruel!
because he felt guilty and wanted to make up for the torture.
huuum, a nice little nipple pinch!
Strong
30-09-2009, 05:58 AM
Yeah, but it sends out mixed messages.
"Yes I know I'm a torturer and I'm trying to force you to admit something, but hey, is it so wrong to get a sexual kick out of at the same time?".
You have to keep an eye on Ferre, he is very funny when he wants to be :sqbiggrin:
He was joking??? :sqerr: :sqembarrassed:
Strong
30-09-2009, 06:16 AM
:sqlaugh:
I don't think Ferre really thinks Julien should waterboard his mum!
My idea of the reconstruction of her cleaning was a good one. The act of redoing what she physically did draws on different areas of her memory and may bring back information that cannot be retrieved in other ways.
Or you could hypnotise her Julien, you might be able to find out about that basket ball as well then.
Ferre
30-09-2009, 12:52 PM
He was joking??? :sqerr: :sqembarrassed:
Yeah, after all those years you'd think he would know me by now. :sqconfused:
Ferre
30-09-2009, 12:55 PM
Or you could hypnotise her Julien, you might be able to find out about that basket ball as well then.
^^ if that and the waterboarding don't get it out of her, drug her. :armyconfused:
julien_simon
30-09-2009, 01:38 PM
^^ if that and the waterboarding don't get it out of her, drug her. :armyconfused:
or worse, get her sober.
Muddy
30-09-2009, 01:43 PM
Ah, she'd come right from the cellar then. That explains it. Well that's it then. You're stuck there for a good long time. This is exciting!
ewomack
30-09-2009, 10:13 PM
I'm glad that nipples finally came up in this thread. Now it's 5 stars.
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 08:38 AM
Am I wrong in thinking that waterboarding was actually a pretty ingenious way to torture without actually hurting someone? Should I have thought this the horrific practice they portrayed in the media? Sometimes I wonder if it's me that's twisted, or everyone else. =)
Am I wrong in thinking that waterboarding was actually a pretty ingenious way to torture without actually hurting someone? Should I have thought this the horrific practice they portrayed in the media? Sometimes I wonder if it's me that's twisted, or everyone else. =)
A lot of methods of torture are ingenious. Some are down right diabolical.
But torture is torture.
It doesn't become less abhorrent when it doesn't leave a mark.
People can and do actually drown during the process.
In contrast to submerging the head face-forward in water, waterboarding precipitates an almost immediate gag reflex. The technique does not inevitably cause lasting physical damage. It can cause extreme pain, dry drowning, damage to lungs, brain damage from oxygen deprivation, other physical injuries including broken bones due to struggling against restraints, lasting psychological damage or, if uninterrupted, death. Adverse physical consequences can start manifesting months after the event; psychological effects can last for years.
Waterboarding - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterboarding)
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 08:59 AM
sigh...I knew I should have had more sympathy. It was just difficult when the controversy came on the heels on our men being decapitated.
Guess my sense of fairness was challenged.
sigh...I knew I should have had more sympathy. It was just difficult when the controversy came on the heels on our men being decapitated.
Guess my sense of fairness was challenged.
It's tough to do the right thing when those you face are playing by a different set of rules.
I also have a strong sense of fairness but if we lower ourselves to their level, then we're all damaged.
It may sound brutal, but, since they're going to anyway, I say let them keep coming with their human bombs and the rest of their bullshit. I'm confident that there are way, way more infidels and other normal folks than there are terrorists. They're going to run out of people, long before we do! Then, this terrorism bullshit will be over.
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 09:13 AM
It's tough to do the right thing when those you face are playing by a different set of rules.
I also have a strong sense of fairness but if we lower ourselves to their level, then we're all damaged.
It may sound brutal, but, since they're going to anyway, I say let them keep coming with their human bombs and the rest of their bullshit. I'm confident that there are way, way more infidels and other normal folks than there are terrorists. They're going to run out of people, long before we do! Then, this terrorism bullshit will be over.
Funny, I never feel the urge for revenge in my own life. I'm actually rather good at turning the other cheek...but I'm not above a rallying cry when I see others rise in revolt. Especially if it's an underdog or the side that I perceive as being more right than the other.
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 09:15 AM
] "According to Justice Department documents, the waterboarding of Khalid Sheik Mohammed allowed the U.S. government to stop a 9/11-type attack on Los Angeles.[20]"
Does the end justify the means?
Ferre
07-10-2009, 09:36 AM
] "According to Justice Department documents, the waterboarding of Khalid Sheik Mohammed allowed the U.S. government to stop a 9/11-type attack on Los Angeles.[20]"
Does the end justify the means?
Where did you get that quote? From Dick Cheney?
David Danzig: FBI Interrogator: Waterboarding Does Not Work (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-danzig/fbi-interrogator-waterboa_b_203095.html)
FBI, CIA Debate Significance of Terror Suspect (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/17/AR2007121702151_pf.html)
By contrast there is no scientific evidence that suggests that waterboarding is an effective method to interrogate people, according to COL Steve Kleinman, an Air Force intelligence officer who helped produce a comprehensive study of interrogation and torture for the Defense Intelligence Agency in 2006.
To the contrary Kleinman said, the limited scientific evidence suggests that waterboarding is counter-productive. "It makes people more resolute and more determined that the cause they are fighting for is correct," Kleinman told me recently. "It does not make them want to talk."
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 09:37 AM
Actually from the wikipedia link that Zap posted.
If you read the whole Wiki, there are sources that will tell you that waterboarding is not reliable for information gathering anyway.
Someone who is being waterboarded will admit to killing JFK, Jimmy Hoffa and the Pope, all on the same day.
Waterboarding is not just cruel. It's a waste of time.
Ferre
07-10-2009, 09:45 AM
Ah, maybe Dick Cheney is a wiki editor? :sqlaugh:
Cryren8972
07-10-2009, 09:45 AM
Point taken and received, thanks gentlemen. =)
Ah, maybe Dick Cheney is a wiki editor? :sqlaugh:
He wouldn't do that. He'd just pay someone else to.
The government has been known to dabble in that. ;)
Point taken and received, thanks gentlemen. =)
I understand where you're coming from, though.
The extremists don't play by fair rules.
Ferre
07-10-2009, 09:48 AM
If you ask me I think that governments and interest groups are about the only ones that still edit wiki, most sincere editors moved away from that place after giving up correcting their crap again and again and again long time ago.
ewomack
07-10-2009, 07:14 PM
Like everything with humans, it was inevitable...
Muddy
08-10-2009, 01:05 PM
Damn. He's right.
ewomack
08-10-2009, 07:32 PM
Damn indeed.
julien_simon
08-10-2009, 07:51 PM
damn imaginary lines.
oh what were you guys talking about already?
ewomack
08-10-2009, 11:02 PM
I was pontificating the pontiff...
http://www.animalnewyork.com/wp-content/uploads/archive/500_pope_final.jpg
ewomack
08-10-2009, 11:02 PM
I think that's still legal... has anyone seen a new bull?
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