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  1. Replies
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    But what if you were in the middle of the desert...

    But what if you were in the middle of the desert with no food, water, gas or cell phone bars?

    I don't know. They're ok I guess.
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    I've exceeded the bandwidth limit. I'd better...

    I've exceeded the bandwidth limit. I'd better ease up on my post count.

    Do you like brownies?

    Well now that all depends. Some are too dry and some too moist.
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    I mean.. who's to say I didn't just pop into...

    I mean.. who's to say I didn't just pop into existence from another dimension? I'm sorry but I simply do not recall being born. We all just have to take other people's word for it. I find it a bit...
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    Why am I here? Because you were born. I...

    Why am I here?

    Because you were born.

    I suppose I'll have to agree, but I can't swear to it.
  5. Replies
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    Just think, if you just keep repeating yourself,...

    Just think, if you just keep repeating yourself, you'll never run out of things to say.

    That is deep, dude. Really deep.

    Thanks.
  6. Replies
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    Ok who left the barn door open? Can someone...

    Ok who left the barn door open? Can someone please get this guy out of here?

    Your mother sucks golf balls.

    Can I speak with the manager please?
  7. Replies
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    I think you got your bags packed a little too...

    I think you got your bags packed a little too tight there, dude.

    Oh really? I've been kicked out of better restaurants than this, bro.
  8. Replies
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    I only come to town about twice a year.

    I only come to town about twice a year.
  9. Replies
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    Get hold of yerself, man.

    Get hold of yerself, man.
  10. Replies
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    Don't lie to us, son. I swear on me own Irish...

    Don't lie to us, son.

    I swear on me own Irish mother's grave that every post I've ever submitted is true.
  11. Replies
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    Oh, sure, hula-hoops are great for about ten...

    Oh, sure, hula-hoops are great for about ten seconds, then it's all downhill from there.
  12. Replies
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    Do you like anchovies? Well I should certainly...

    Do you like anchovies?

    Well I should certainly hope not.

    Does that mean no?

    Yes.
  13. Replies
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    Typing class? I don't know, I thought I was doing...

    Typing class? I don't know, I thought I was doing pretty well until they started making me spell words.
  14. Replies
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    I can only surmise that the old gang of regulars...

    I can only surmise that the old gang of regulars here are not posting due to their old age maladies. If you lost your fingers in a horrible riding mower accident, you could still type with your nose...
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    You got a match? Dude people don't use matches...

    You got a match?

    Dude people don't use matches anymore. How the hell old are you?
  16. Replies
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    I suspect the polar bears will turn brown. Or...

    I suspect the polar bears will turn brown. Or perhaps green.

    I should live so long. Green polar bears would be kinda cool.
  17. Replies
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    The ice is disappearing and it's your fault. ...

    The ice is disappearing and it's your fault.

    Excuse me?
  18. Replies
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    Everyone had long hair. I'll have to admit that...

    Everyone had long hair. I'll have to admit that that was kinda weird.
  19. Replies
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    Yes, we really did hitchhike in the 60's. It was...

    Yes, we really did hitchhike in the 60's. It was nothing unusual back then. Rather par for the course in fact. I wouldn't recommend it today. Things are different now. A person is libel to get their...
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    Is Pig Latin a real language? No. Then why...

    Is Pig Latin a real language?

    No.

    Then why did you capitalize it?

    Great question. Not sure. Do you like liver?

    Um.... no?
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    How the hell should I know? I'm just here, dude.

    How the hell should I know? I'm just here, dude.
  22. Replies
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    I am a paid non-attorney spokesman. Excuse me?...

    I am a paid non-attorney spokesman.

    Excuse me?

    I am neither fond of grits nor okra.

    Well I'm certainly glad we've cleared that up. In what hemisphere are you in?
  23. Replies
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    Can we just agree on everything please? That...

    Can we just agree on everything please? That should make things a lot easier.
  24. Replies
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    I always thought white chocolate tasted kinda...

    I always thought white chocolate tasted kinda weird.

    Perhaps you're right.
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    I prefer white chocolate. I'm not really sure....

    I prefer white chocolate. I'm not really sure. I'm sure it's something. As of yet I know not what.
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