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  1. Replies
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    Yes, a terrible design. You wouldn't design a...

    Yes, a terrible design. You wouldn't design a robot to shit, would you?
  2. Replies
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    I refuse to believe anymore stuff. If I believe...

    I refuse to believe anymore stuff. If I believe much more my head will explode.
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    Life was so simple once. I don't know what the...

    Life was so simple once. I don't know what the fuck happened.
  4. Replies
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    I'm not sure I wanna know the truth. Thirty...

    I'm not sure I wanna know the truth.

    Thirty days in the electric chair.
  5. Replies
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    I think I'm exper4iencing a lot of cognitive...

    I think I'm exper4iencing a lot of cognitive dissonance at the moment. Too many documentaries perhaps.
  6. Replies
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    Seems I've managed to drink myself through...

    Seems I've managed to drink myself through another Thanksgiving. God bless me and send me to bed.
  7. Replies
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    I don't know. I just have a hard time conceiving...

    I don't know. I just have a hard time conceiving what kind of crazy motherfuckers would actually do such a thing. It was really stupid. I'd have to say that's right up there with the stupidest things...
  8. Replies
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    I ain't ate no greens in a while, maybe that's it.

    I ain't ate no greens in a while, maybe that's it.
  9. Replies
    8,477
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    391,741

    Runway is clear and ready for takeoff.

    Runway is clear and ready for takeoff.
  10. Replies
    8,477
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    391,741

    Ok well I'm going to bed. Night, honey.

    Ok well I'm going to bed.

    Night, honey.
  11. Replies
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    I can't talk right now, honey. I'm having a...

    I can't talk right now, honey. I'm having a chemical reaction.
  12. Replies
    8,477
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    391,741

    No wonder the aliens hate us.

    No wonder the aliens hate us.
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    But who the fuck thinks up shit like that? 9/11?...

    But who the fuck thinks up shit like that? 9/11? Seriously?
  14. Replies
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    Wait, that was Bush. Sorry dude.

    Wait, that was Bush. Sorry dude.
  15. Replies
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    Is my mind becoming infected with all these...

    Is my mind becoming infected with all these documentaries? Quite possibly. I should probably give it a break and go back to peeling carrots for a while. Them carrots can be pretty stubborn you know.
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    I liked Barrack Obama but I'm not too cool with...

    I liked Barrack Obama but I'm not too cool with the whole 9/11 thing. That was a bit over the top. That was a pretty stupid maneuver.
  17. Replies
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    The seventies will live in infamy.

    The seventies will live in infamy.
  18. Replies
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    Dude I think I've tried every color and shade on...

    Dude I think I've tried every color and shade on the planet, they're all good.

    Yeah um... the seventies are over, dude.

    The HELL you say!
  19. Replies
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    The whole thing is just ridiculous. Have you...

    The whole thing is just ridiculous.

    Have you tried green tea?
  20. Replies
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    Ok everyone clear your minds. You got a male and...

    Ok everyone clear your minds. You got a male and a female. Gee Mr. Wizard, what'll we do now?

    Fuck and make more males and females.

    Er... could you run that by me one more time?
  21. Replies
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    I'm watching a Partridge Family Thanksgiving...

    I'm watching a Partridge Family Thanksgiving Marathon on TV with the sound muted. It's really terrible.
  22. Replies
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    Ain't you got some roof gutters need cleaning or...

    Ain't you got some roof gutters need cleaning or something?

    Ah yes, the gutter. I like me a clean gutter.
  23. Replies
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    Thanks for not swearing. Right on, brother.

    Thanks for not swearing.

    Right on, brother.
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    Food? Yeah, food is great. Until it becomes shit....

    Food? Yeah, food is great. Until it becomes shit. I don't know, I just think it's a terrible design. I'd like to get a hold of the son of a being that thought this one up.
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    391,741

    We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We...

    We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We hadn't driven very far. She said can you pull over, I gotta take a shit and I'm like, my daddy don't want no shit in the car. Perhaps you could leave one...
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