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  1. Replies
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    With all the plastics technology, I often wonder...

    With all the plastics technology, I often wonder why we've not invented a stick of chewing gum that can be re-used daily for at least 3 months yet. I'm thinking capitalism may have something to do...
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    I do think that nature should share some of the...

    I do think that nature should share some of the blame. Glass was synthesized by nature long before it was by humans.
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    Who the heck thinks this stuff up? Hey, man, I...

    Who the heck thinks this stuff up? Hey, man, I got an idea... let's wax some paper! No thanks, dude, I think I'll just stick with the saltglaze crocks and stave barrels.
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    Furthermore, there'll be no consumption of any...

    Furthermore, there'll be no consumption of any breakfast foods tomorrow morning that are not contained in wax paper.
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    We've had our fun, now you kids get to bed. And...

    We've had our fun, now you kids get to bed. And get them antihistamine spray bottles out of your ears.
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    Excellent job, Ed. I'll bet you thought they'd...

    Excellent job, Ed. I'll bet you thought they'd never give up. I was beginning to wonder myself for a while there. That old age and infirmity'll getcha every time.
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    I've decided to stop drinking now, but only...

    I've decided to stop drinking now, but only because the jug is almost empty.
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    You just watch yer tongue, boy, I ain't no moth...

    You just watch yer tongue, boy, I ain't no moth eaten saddle tramp.
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    I'm currently watching Trackdown on TV. Number...

    I'm currently watching Trackdown on TV. Number one; ain't nobody gonna name nobody Hobe, ok? Number two; how come they didn't have no color TV back then?
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    Unless there's some place where violence stops,...

    Unless there's some place where violence stops, civilization has no meaning.
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    Girl don't hate, let's marinate.

    Girl don't hate, let's marinate.
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    Yes, life is great. People are born then grow old...

    Yes, life is great. People are born then grow old and die. What a trip though eh.
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    In fact I took out an entire display of products...

    In fact I took out an entire display of products by accident trying to not look at people. I'm sure they have people to clean that stuff up.
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    Women were trying to get me to look at them in...

    Women were trying to get me to look at them in the supermarket, but I simply refused.
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    We got some nuclear shit going on here. Oh...

    We got some nuclear shit going on here.

    Oh really? Perhaps I should have some children then.
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    If you people had any idea how drunk I was right...

    If you people had any idea how drunk I was right now you'd be like, what the fuck, dude.
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    Yeah dude, I'm not sure what kind of life this is...

    Yeah dude, I'm not sure what kind of life this is but I am drunker than a motherfucker. I trust y'all except Ed know how drunk that is.
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    Yeah we've had a a lot of fun, but it's over now....

    Yeah we've had a a lot of fun, but it's over now. It no longer makes sense.
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    I wish it wasn't this way, but it unfortunately...

    I wish it wasn't this way, but it unfortunately is. People are supposed to have children. I clearly think it sucks, but yeah, you gotta stop doing that. I'm sorry.
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    Boy am I glad I did not have children, and I am...

    Boy am I glad I did not have children, and I am dead serious.
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    Perhaps it's time for a YouTube video.

    Perhaps it's time for a YouTube video.
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    Boy, it's a good thing I was born in America or...

    Boy, it's a good thing I was born in America or I'd really be fucked.
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    You people are not going to believe this but it...

    You people are not going to believe this but it is absolutley true. The words in my Notepad are being changed, I am not kidding. I'm not sure what the fuck is going on here.
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    I just thought of a really cool post to post, but...

    I just thought of a really cool post to post, but I forgot what it was. Sorry.
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    Do I wear pajamas in bed? No. I sleep naked, I'm...

    Do I wear pajamas in bed? No. I sleep naked, I'm sorry. Perhaps it was the way I was brought up, who the fuck knows? I sure don't.
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