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  1. #2001
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    And, it's the truth.

  2. #2002
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    I can't believe what time it is already. I'm not real crazy about time.

  3. #2003
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    Life sucks, except when I see skinny children in third world countries. Then it ain't so bad.

  4. #2004
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    I could include hilarious images in my post but I'm not that person anymore. I am old and infirm. I also do not care much for ketchup.

  5. #2005
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    Look, this can go a couple of ways, either I post or I don't post. Now which is it?

    Um..... . .. .

    Go ahead, say it ...


    Umm..............

    Spit it out, son...

    Er.............

    Ah forget it. One water and a chopped salad please.

    What color water would you like, sir?

    Surprise me.

    And how would you like the salad chopped, sir?

    Semi-finely.

    And you are calling ME crazy?

    I beg your pardon?

    Coming right up, sir.

    Hey Ethel, we got any of that silver tinsel left over from last Christmas?

  6. #2006
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    I don't have a hangover.

  7. #2007
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    It's a Christmas miracle.

  8. #2008
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    Ok I just stole that from Family Guy, I'll admit it.

  9. #2009
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    I am drunker than Helen Keller in high heels right now.

  10. #2010
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    Don't go chasing waterfalls? Um... that's probably not a bad idea, thanks.

  11. #2011
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    Ok that's it, I'm going advanced. No more of this quick reply stuff. There's a reason why there are no green mammals. We just don't know what it is.

  12. #2012
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    Some things never tell you that they're improper.
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  13. #2013
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    Some people told me that I'll someday regret not having had children. That day has not come. Nonetheless, I am glad that other people are having them - as long as they don't make too many.
    Ed Womack
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  15. #2014
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    My wife's grandmother used to work at a hospital decades ago. She once told a story about an old man who one night was checked in and eventually died. He had 9 children and not one of them came to see their dead father. I think his body stayed in the morgue for a while, waiting for any progeny to show up. When no one came to claim him, one of the hospital administrators wanted to make the man an organ donor and so he put together paperwork to begin that process. My wife's grandmother's Catholic morality kicked in and she instead arranged a funeral and a burial for him - she left out some details about that part because I wonder how she accomplished all of that. In any case, the body ended up buried whole instead of harvested for organs. The hospital administrator was pissed, of course, and yelled at her "if I didn't know you I would fire you!" and then slammed her office door and never said another word about it.

    I took a few things away from that story. First, either the man was a complete asshole or all nine of his children were complete assholes. Probability tends to favor the former interpretation. Second, well intentioned religious moral convictions may have caused someone somewhere unknown to die from not receiving organs or other body parts that the dead man could have offered up. Strange how morality giveth while it taketh away. My wife's grandmother, now long dead, used to tell that story with pride. I wonder if the alternative implications never occurred to her? Third, I've heard so many parents say "I wanted to have children so I would have someone to take care of me when I grew old." Well, that apparently didn't work out for this guy. He even had 9 children, a decent insurance clause, to make sure that at least one would stick around, but none did. Kids are no guarantee of geriatric bliss, though of course having none makes the possibility a stark and very absolute zero.
    Last edited by ewomack; 25-10-2018 at 09:26 PM.
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  17. #2015
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    + YouTube Video
    ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
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  18. #2016
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    + YouTube Video
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