Multicultural Entertainment...

[Atom]

This is a serious subject. Please do not fuck around. I was captured by a Bigfoot and made to escort the fucking thing to the high school prom back in '72 FFS.

Ok, sorry. Do they really smell as bad as they say?

Worse.

Alrighty then.

[Atom]

How long do they live?

Just as long as my beer holds out.

[Atom]

Look, I don't know what's wrong with you but you don't belong on this planet.

Yeah, tell me about it.

[Atom]

Kelen Heller couldn't have put it no better.

[Atom]

I'm kinda old. I'll probably be dead soon.

[Atom]

There is no death.

I see. You got any kids?

Yeah, a few.

One here and there?

Yeah.

Excellent. You have no idea what the fuck is actually going on here am I correct?

Well... yeah, kinda.

[Atom]

How much more beer do I have to drink?

Quite a bit I'm afraid.

Ok well I got a head start.

Cool.

[Atom]

I've only got four left. I should probably save them for tomorrow, Thanksgiving day.

Dude fuck that, drink 'em all.

Ok, you convinced me.

[Atom]

What's your real name?

Helen Highwater.

Sorry I asked.

[Atom]

Yes I know, you couldn't help it right?

Something like that. Do you wipe your ass with the left hand or the right?

Well I think that's kinda personal, dude. The right.

Ok I think we may have a match for you.

[Atom]

Assholes are disgusting.

Yeah... not really my favorite thing.

[ewomack]

I am thankful for bowel movements. I really am.

[Atom]

I see. Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself?

[Atom]

We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We hadn't driven very far. She said can you pull over, I gotta take a shit and I'm like, my daddy don't want no shit in the car. Perhaps you could leave one instead.

[Atom]

Food? Yeah, food is great. Until it becomes shit. I don't know, I just think it's a terrible design. I'd like to get a hold of the son of a being that thought this one up.

[Atom]

Thanks for not swearing.

Right on, brother.

[Atom]

Ain't you got some roof gutters need cleaning or something?

Ah yes, the gutter. I like me a clean gutter.

[Atom]

I'm watching a Partridge Family Thanksgiving Marathon on TV with the sound muted. It's really terrible.

[Atom]

Ok everyone clear your minds. You got a male and a female. Gee Mr. Wizard, what'll we do now?

Fuck and make more males and females.

Er... could you run that by me one more time?

[Atom]

The whole thing is just ridiculous.

Have you tried green tea?