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  1. #11661
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    My mama was a vacuum cleaner.

    My my, isn't it wonderful what they've done with genetics these days?

  2. #11662
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    I am now three beers past my daily limit. I just hope that I do not sexually excite anyone too much.

  3. #11663
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    Well you can just keep your genitals to yourself, mister.

    Um... yeah that's kinda what I was hoping for. Now please give me your coat. It'll be returned to you when you leave the party.

    Nobody touches my tits, mister.

    Ok leave the damned thing on then. I hope you roast to death.

  4. #11664
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    I think we are all just trying to have a good time. Please do not make me call the bouncer over here. He stubbed his toe this morning while dressing for work.

  5. #11665
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    I hate when that happens.

    Tell me about it. I'm using a 12 year old eyeglass prescription.

  6. #11666
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    I hate it when life demands I be a normal person. It's just not me.

  7. #11667
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    I mean who the fuck posts like this? Am I right?

  8. #11668
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    Calm down, Atom. I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself.

    Well if you posted as much as I do you probably would too.

    Have you considered male prostitution?

    Not in the last six months.

  9. #11669
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    But seriously, people, I am so normal in real life it would make many of you puke from the sheer boredom.

    How do you like your eggs?

    Dude I ain't got no eggs, I'm a dude.

    Perhaps a slab of bacon and a piece of toast then.

  10. #11670
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    No thanks, I'm on a strict diet where I only eat things that were never alive.

    I see, well good luck with that and I'm sure we have some kind of a consolation prize don't we Charlie?

    Yes, Bill, three days and twelve nights at the beach without an umbrella.

    That is pretty awesome, Charles. May we have the next contestant please ...

  11. #11671
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    Yes, Bob, a thirteen year old mother of four that can juggle spinning plates without dropping any for at least three minutes.

  12. #11672
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    This is the united states of America. Please stop fucking around.

    Would you believe three kids?

    I don't think so, dude.

  13. #11673
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    Let's face it, our time in life is but a mere pittance, so don't get too crazy about yourself.

    It would be like being crazy about a grain of sand right?

    Yes. Something to that effect.

    It is the will of Landru.

    Yeah I suppose you could put it that way.

  14. #11674
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    What's wrong?

    There is nothing wrong.

    Well there must be something.

    I think my shoe laces are too long.

  15. #11675
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    Where can I lodge a complaint?

    The nearest lodge is about three miles up that hill. If you start now you should reach it by daybreak.

  16. #11676
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    Do they have room service?

    Yes. We also have maids that will confiscate anything they find to make up for the pay discrepancy.

  17. #11677
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    Look, I got kids. They want ketchup. I gotta get 'em some ketchup.

  18. #11678
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    I can be very specific about specific things if need be. So let's just eat drink and be merry shall we?

    Are you a democrat?

    No but I'm sure I'm plenty of things that rhyme with that.

    Do you like cough lozenges?

    Dude I just like lozenges, it don't matter what they're for. I grew up in the sixties and seventies.

  19. #11679
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    Ok who wants to discuss climate change, please raise your hand.

  20. #11680
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    I mean ... it's like we are sitting here making believe it's not really happening, but it seems apparent that it is. I think we need to smoke more weed.

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