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  1. #12041
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    I don't know, dude. I'm not very good with math.

  2. #12042
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    Not to worry, dude. Do you know how to read a tape measure?

    Yeah, I learned that years ago, but I forgot what the little marks are for.

  3. #12043
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    Excuse me madam but did you put those flowers in your hair or did they just grow there?

  4. #12044
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    I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir. We don't allow drunkenness here at the senior center.

  5. #12045
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    Mind if I grab a few paper cups on my way out?

    Just keep moving, sir.

  6. #12046
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    Hi. Is this the internet?

    Yes.

    Ok I'd like to say hi to my mom, my second grade history teacher, my mailman, God, Aerosmith and Dick Clark.

    Ok. Thanks for stopping by.

  7. #12047
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    Is Aerosmith anything like Areo Speedwagon?

    No, dude. e before r except after o.

    Are you sure?

    Not a hundred percent.

    Well what the hell are we talking about then?

    I don't know. Green bell peppers seem to ring a bell.

  8. #12048
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    Please don't make me start posting in cuneiform.

    Ok. You got any sisters?

    What the hell does that have to do with rhubarb or what ever the hell we were talking about?

  9. #12049
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    Hi. Is there anyone named Rance here?

    No.

    Ok. I guess I got the wrong forum.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    No problem, dude.

  10. #12050
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    Please don't make me roll anymore tobacco, mommy.

    You just keep rolling till I tell ya to stop, missy.

  11. #12051
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    My spellchecker tried to get me to capitalize missy, but I weren't fooled for one second.

  12. #12052
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    Where the hell did you learn the English language?

    I don't rightly remember.

  13. #12053
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    It musta been grade school.

    Dude musta is not a word in the English language.

    Hmm ... I guess you're right. I suppose it's possible I was born in Uruguay.

  14. #12054
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    And I suppose you're quite happy to assume that this is just another obscure reference by some crazy poster.

    Do they even have computers in Uruguay?

    Dude I ain't sure. I think so.

  15. #12055
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    Where were you last night?

    I don't remember.

    Don't lie to me, great grandmother.

    Tacos seem to ring a bell.

  16. #12056
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    Please tell me you did not go up to Canada taco hunting again.

    Ok.

  17. #12057
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    Well?

    I did not go up to Canada taco hunting again.

    Am I warm?

    Possibly.

  18. #12058
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    Albuquerque?

    Too hot.

    Arkansaw?

    No such state.

    Joliette?

    What the hell kind of language is this anyway?

    It don't matter. It'll be winter soon.

  19. #12059
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    I got reasons for stuff.

    Care to elaborate?

    No.

    Ok. Thanks for stopping by.

  20. #12060
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    Everybody's talking at me. I don't hear a word they're saying. Only the echoes of my mind.

    Have you tried cranberry juice?

    No. I steer clear of consuming anything that comes from a bog.

    Frog semen?

    Yes, among other things.

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