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  1. #9101
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    Holy fuck is that an asteroid crash I just heard?

    Honey the cat just knocked over the napkin holder, please try to calm down.

  2. #9102
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    Ok that's it, we're moving to Nebraska, everybody start packing.

  3. #9103
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    Listen, I don't know how much more prodin' your cattle needs but I'm startin' to get a little tired.

    Just keep prodin', boy, till I tell ya to stop.

  4. #9104
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    I think one of them is starting to get mad at me.

    Well of course they're mad, they're animals.

    Is that mom coming down the driveway, gramps?

    Nevermind the shenanigans, you got milkin' to do next.

  5. #9105
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    I don't approve of most things.

    Honey your daughter is home.

  6. #9106
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    I've been watching Celebrity Ghost Stories on Tubi and have to say that I've always had a hard time believing in paranormal stuff. Some of the celebs are pretty convincing but I still ain't sold on the idea. I won't deny that there may be something to it but I'll be fucked if I know what it is.

  7. #9107
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    I'll never forget the first time I tried a Ouija board. After everyone got their fingers on the thing that moves, I don't know what it's called, the thing didn't even move a micro inch. So I'm like, ok I'm done.

  8. #9108
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    I'm serious. No movement whatsoever. From that moment on whenever someone mentions a Ouija board now, I'm like... dude, you ever done mushrooms?

  9. #9109
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    And they're like, no, and I'm like, well you should probably give them a shot and they're like, ok.

  10. #9110
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    Listen, life is pretty serious, so how much more serious is life after death, now I ask you.

    David Carradine, aka the Kung Foo guy who was one of the participants in the Celebrity Ghost Stories doc said, energy can neither be created nor destroyed, implying that the energy from a dead person has to have gone somewhere.

  11. #9111
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    That's actually a legitimate question if that law of physics is true.

  12. #9112
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    The series involves one celebrity after another telling their personal stories, I think I've seen at least twenty of them so far. I mean if you can't believe a celebrity, who the hell CAN you believe? The shit must be real. Right?

  13. #9113
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    The stories have things in common, like doors opening and closing, suddenly experiencing a coldness, and a bright light which turns out upon further examination to be a shape of some sort, often a little girl that they later found out died years ago.

  14. #9114
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    Dude, I didn't just roll out of the turnip patch ok?

  15. #9115
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    Shit has to make sense before I'll even consider it.

  16. #9116
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    If it doesn't make sense then it belongs with all the other shit that doesn't make sense.

  17. #9117
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    For example, a two ounce bird doesn't leave a pile of shit bigger than itself. It just squirts out a few squirts now and then.

  18. #9118
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    Dude have you tried sandpaper?

    Yes. It doesn't do a thing they claim no matter how long I stare at it.

  19. #9119
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    Ok what if it's true?

    Then I'd say I'm pretty well fucked.

  20. #9120
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    Ok I'll admit there may be something else, I just ain't sure what to call it.

    Would Fred do it for ya?

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